Dimensions

When I was reading and studying for my Bachelor’s in English Literature, I used to joke that the reason English books were so much thinner than Russian lit books, was that secondary characters in Russian literature were never two dimensional like they were…

… still standing

I started this blog back when I was struggling with a mid-life depression; questioning my choices as a mother; frustrated and grieving the ways in which medicine failed my body, and my body failed me; examining the regrets of my marriage; and addressing…

Snippets on chronic pain, divorce, and friendship

Things here are on a let’s take it one day at a time basis. Each day seems to be manageable, but when I think about the stack of days ahead, I often get overwhelmed. Pain, or rather the anticipation of pain, is a…

Split level

November 2020, Yesterday, Sandy and I put an offer in on a second home. The house shares about 2/3 of our Western property line and fence. We moved into our current home in West/Central Berkeley on a weekday. All of our prior visits…

Holding my breath

I’ve been holding my breath like a free diver to the point where my sight is blurry and reality shimmers far away like a fanciful light. My exhale won’t be whoosh as a bubbling wheeze. It will feel so good to inhale again.…

My next tattoo

A letter to Malwina of Jesse James Tattoo I got my first tattoo as a 40th birthday present to myself. It was also a way to capture the pain of infertility, while also giving me something to look forward to. My first tattoo…

My revolting body, in sum

It’s been over a year since my last post. A year chock full of new and exciting adventures for our clan. My mind draws a blank when it comes to what last summer, Summer 2019, held. I think it must have been the…

Weekend Wreckage

The weekend has been a whirlwind.  The boys had Friday off, so I arranged that day – naturally – to have E get his orthodontia.  He went in with slick empty teeth and came out with nubbins and rubber bands and brackets and…

8 Habits of Highly Effective Addicts

Or, you, too, can sort of fit into the world and pay your bills while feeding your demon Ideally, spread your addictions across multiple modes:  don’t just be an alcoholic or a drug addict. Try food, shopping, sex, binge-watching, porn, or cigarettes as…

A-void-ance

Unbelievably, Eliot is in eighth grade, and that means that we have to register him for Berkeley High School.  To do this, we must first prove we are legitimate residents of Berkeley.  After that feat, then we move on to the school registration…