Monthly Archives: November 2015

Archive of posts published in the specified Month

Zzzzzzzzz

There are so many thing that I wish I had known before having kids.  I cannot say that it would have prevented me from having them, but maybe I could have prepared better.  Unlikely, I know.  But it’s just plain rude to find out…

On being batty

on the beach

The English language has an absurd number of adjectives to describe insanity. A search of thesaurus.com for the term “batty” (although not obscure, it is not a frequent word for insane) returns four pages of results. Why so many descriptors? Clearly, we are…

All of me

marionnette

A little over a week ago, Ted told me that I had an unusual ability to be both emotional and rational about my depression. Today in therapy, Madeline pointed out something similar: when I communicate with Sandy, I (and he in return) intellectualize my feelings…

Affirmative

I envy my mother’s ability to recognize and acknowledge the best qualities in a person.  Far too often I scan a person for their flaws first.  Some part of it must have rubbed off, because I do endeavor to compliment acquaintances or strangers.  I might…

From the sidewalk

Depression has an itinerate, homeless quality to it.  Not the truly destitute homeless, though depression/mental illness and homelessness intertwine, but for the purposes of this comparison, consider the newly or traveling homeless – when you have friends and family to call upon – when you can still consider it…

Space

Yesterday and this morning both, I started the morning with something akin to a mild anxiety or panic attack at the prospect of heading home.  This happened to me this summer when I prepared to board the plane from Indianapolis to home, my subconscious…

Out of time

Last Saturday, I landed at the Medford airport in Oregon. I had had an easy 90 minute flight from SFO next to an Oregonian cattle rancher. At first, hearing I was from Berkeley, my aisle-mate clearly edited himself. After I shared how I grew…

Running

For years I have struggled to pick up running. I can remember trying a few times when I lived at home. I definitely remember jogging a bit with my friend Bruce my sophomore year of college. Here he was, a six foot plus,…

My business

[Caveat lector and caveat mater:  this is an explicit post about my sexuality.] At some point in the last decade I crossed a meaningful line.  Some women pass it early in their adult lives, some after decades.  Some women skip back and forth…

Rain

It’s raining this morning: a nice steady dark rain to accompany the mood that I cannot get out from under. I am glad for the rain. Not just in the we-really-need-it-California-drought way, but in the maybe-other-people-won’t-notice-how-bad-I-am way because the rain will cover it.…