My 4 year old is growing more comfortable with is alphabet:  he can not only recite his ABCs, but he’s recognizing letters and recalling the sounds associated with them.  We’ve been reading the same book every night for a couple of weeks (in addition to other books) and finding words in it for him to pull apart and identify.  He’s grown very confident with the word, “big.”  “B – I – G” he recites as he points to the word.  It appears on multiple pages.  It’s such a little word, and one we overlook so easily, and yet, to him it is a light that shines in on a dark page of unfamiliar language.  The rest of the page consists of pictures and jumbled letters – but there in the middle, a word he knows:  “big.”

Monday is my “big” day.  I get my pancreas ultrasounded endoscopically and biopsied.  So far every scan and blood test has provided little meaning or insight.  Just indecipherable pictures.  Monday, hopefully, they will get a better picture – literally and figuratively – of what’s going on.  I don’t know if I want for the doctor to look and instantly see the “B-I-G” on the page, but l suppose it’s the first step to deciphering the rest of the story.