Author Archives

Archive of the posts written by author : Robin.

Out of time

Last Saturday, I landed at the Medford airport in Oregon. I had had an easy 90 minute flight from SFO next to an Oregonian cattle rancher. At first, hearing I was from Berkeley, my aisle-mate clearly edited himself. After I shared how I grew…

Running

For years I have struggled to pick up running. I can remember trying a few times when I lived at home. I definitely remember jogging a bit with my friend Bruce my sophomore year of college. Here he was, a six foot plus,…

My business

[Caveat lector and caveat mater:  this is an explicit post about my sexuality.] At some point in the last decade I crossed a meaningful line.  Some women pass it early in their adult lives, some after decades.  Some women skip back and forth…

Rain

It’s raining this morning: a nice steady dark rain to accompany the mood that I cannot get out from under. I am glad for the rain. Not just in the we-really-need-it-California-drought way, but in the maybe-other-people-won’t-notice-how-bad-I-am way because the rain will cover it.…

Blue

From a conversation with Ted: …if I drilled a hole into your brain and poured in some serotonin and oxytocin that everything you’re describing would shift brighter. This is my approach: Are you at risk of suicide or has it simply lasted too…

Disheartened

In yesterday’s therapy session, I shared how I question whether what I see now in the midst of this depression is the truth or a lie.  I acknowledge that oversimplifies it, but I wonder whether my depression is hyperbolizing the problems. She asked…

For Richer or Poorer

Yesterday was our 4th couples’ therapy session.  Jeff, the therapist, explained early on that he has a template for the first few sessions.  The first session is about why you are there, the second session is about how you met, the next couple…

What would success look like?

Before I found out about my uncle, I had spent several days wondering, what success looked like?   Meaning, what would be an acceptable outcome from all of this:  the depression, the re-assessment of the relationship, work, etc. In no particular order: My career:…

Insight out

I cannot tell if I’m coming out of or going into a fog.  Depression undoubtedly provides a different world view.  The issue is recognizing which views are enlightening and useful and which are illusion. The last days have been spent jigsaw puzzling and watching mindless television.  These activities I have…

Word Familes

My Uncle Tom committed suicide this week. I left work early on Monday when I found out.  I stayed home Tuesday and most of Wednesday.  I attended a meeting on Wednesday afternoon and faltered.  Not so that you would know that someone in…