Written on Nov, 18, 2018
by Robin
Note: This post began months ago over Labor Day weekend. For reasons noted below it was not posted until mid-November. Sandy needed a weekend away. For him, backpacking provided solace and restoration, so in spite of the kids’ activities on Saturday morning, we…
Written on Oct, 04, 2015
by Robin
When an author introduces magical or supernatural power of invisibility, the author wrestles with the logistics of it. How does it turn on and off, or does it? Does the character have to wear makeup to be seen? Does the character have to…
Written on Sep, 22, 2015
by Robin
For the last months when recounting my depressions to friends, therapists, and the psychiatrist, I have consistently listed this current depression as being as bad as my worst ever other depression, the 1994-1995 graduate school drop out eventual move to the Bay Area depression. I…
Written on Sep, 20, 2015
by Robin
This fishing expedition through my journals for, well, I don’t know exactly, but I guess, insight, fetches more queries than results. The entries address myriad topics but repeatedly the theme is about the failed quest for love. It is as if this younger me…
Written on Sep, 19, 2015
by Robin
For a number of reasons, partially therapy yesterday, partially just thoughts that have been going through my head, and partially because of my faulty memories, this morning I dug out my old journals. From 1987 to 1998 I fairly consistently chronicled my feelings…
Written on Sep, 14, 2015
by Robin
One of the great joys of depression is the games it plays with you. Let’s personify it for just a moment. Envision it not unlike the oft-portrayed little angel and devil shoulder dwellers, but more forest troll that has nested the wilds of your hair.…
Written on Sep, 11, 2015
by Robin
I work in Information Technology at a university. I acquired this position shortly after finishing a Master’s degree in Information Science with an emphasis on human computer interaction. From about 1995 until 2009, I leveraged technological skills in a variety of forms. It…
Written on Sep, 07, 2015
by Robin
For weeks, I have been surviving the daily anxiety attacks or depressive drops, but it was not until today that I realized how critical to that survival having an open and immediate line of communication to someone who understands really is. Moments,…
Written on Sep, 06, 2015
by Robin
The need to purge and start fresh is high right now. The fact that I haven’t already placed all of our stuff out on the front lawn for folks to take is an indication that some combination of medication, exercise, therapy and general…
Written on Aug, 22, 2015
by Robin
I find myself trying on and shedding myriad metaphors for depression. Last week, I flirted with the metaphor of puppet theater in an attempt to convey the strategies one uses to function through depression: you as the puppet master, dancing numerous wooden, yet…